I Can’t Like You

Photo grabbed from Wikihow

Photo grabbed from Wikihow

It’s funny how ironic and playful fate can be. It hands you a glass of icecold water on a blistering summer day and suddenly takes it back just before you lift your hand to reach for it.

It takes you to a familiar high only to drop you down when you are just to relish the moment.

Or you found somebody you thought you could sing “God Gave Me You” to and then someone randomly slapped you and screamed right at your face, “Dream on!”

As luck would have it, the last shit happened to me—though not quite literally.

On my orientation day as a frosh (read: transferee) at the De La Salle- College of Saint Benilde, I became acquainted with a girl who had the same apprehensions as i had about being a transferee.

“Transferee ka din?”, I asked.

Mmm mm,” she mumbled softly without moving a lip—probably to hide her upper teeth brackets.

It was with this awkward but riveting conversation that i commenced my daylong acquaintance with her. We talked, exchanged contacts and impressions about the school and the life we will have ahead. We held hands (thanks to the games). We went to the registrar’s office after the orientation to inquire about the course adjustment system. We could have gone home together on the train if not for her decision to take the carts exclusive for ladies.

There are many reasons why this slim petite young woman is tattooed in my mind. Alas, there are all the more reasons why I cannot like her.

To the girl, here’s why:

I can’t like you because we just barely met and we’ve only been together for a day. It scares me how I feel for you and I don’t even know you all that well.

I can’t like you because you are so charming and pretty that so many other boys like you and my insecurities might lead me to being possessive of someone I don’t even own. I confess that I am a hopeless romantic and I can be extremely clingy to people I am passionate about.

I can’t like you because I am so skinny for a guy that I hover between non/existence. I can’t say that I am passably good- looking and, certainly, I am not the type that girls like you would swoon over.

I can’t like you because you are only sixteen and I am twenty and I can be very impatient with immature and childish people though I wouldn’t really know if you’re one of them.

I can’t like you because I have mood swings and i am afraid you cannot handle me when I dangle on the down side.

I can’t like you because you are not as conversational on Facebook and Wechat as I wish you were. It is both emotionally and mentally taxing to drain myself of questions and interesting topics only to get one-word replies with occasional “haha”s during our one-way online talks. By the way, I am still wondering why you turned your chat off when I told you to smile more often because you look great wearing it. I guess I will take it as a sign that you’re not good at handling compliments. Or were you just afraid that I would catch you off guard if I would tell about my feelings for you?

I can’t like you because you already have a boyfriend and you, two, are undoubtedly in love with each other. Yes, I stalked your Facebook profile right after you accepted my request.  You have so many photos together. But if my psychology professor was right when she said that couples who have a certain degree of facial resemblance are the ones who will last, i guess you are not going to end up together. Not that I am bitter. Just saying.

I can’t like you because you don’t like me. That’s just about it, really.


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